Celery Pear Parsley Juice

Alright, I know what you’re thinking—“Celery? Parsley? What am I, a garnish?” But hear me out.

This juice is low-key amazing. It’s herbaceous, slightly sweet, and makes your body feel like it just got a hug from someone wearing organic linen. Celery brings the crunch, pear brings the calm, and parsley? That’s the unexpected hero you didn’t know your kidneys were rooting for.

It’s not flashy. It’s not neon. But it’s clean, cool, and surprisingly delicious.

What Makes It Awesome

This isn’t some hyped-up influencer juice that costs $14 and tastes like sadness. It’s smooth, balanced, and actually useful—especially if your body’s been living off salt, stress, and sarcasm.

• Celery = hydration king – Packed with water and natural sodium. Weird combo, but your cells love it.
• Pear is the sweet talker – Smooth, mild, and mellow. Softens all the green stuff.
• Parsley pulls its weight – It’s not just a garnish. Parsley helps detox, supports kidney function, and adds a fresh, grassy snap.
• Crisp and clean flavor – Feels like drinking a garden. But like… in a good way.

FYI: This is the juice you drink when you’re feeling a little inflamed and slightly ashamed.

Ingredients

Simple, clean, and (thankfully) no powders involved:

• 2 celery stalks – Chop them up unless you want your blender to file a complaint.
• 1 ripe pear – Bartlett or Anjou are your best bets. Don’t overthink it.
• Small handful of fresh parsley – About 1/4 cup. Yes, really.
• Juice of 1/2 lemon – Brightens the whole thing. Optional, but solid.
• 1/2 cup cold water or a few ice cubes – Because lukewarm celery juice? Hard pass.

Blend it all up, strain if needed, and pour it into something glass so you can admire your new health guru aesthetic.

Alternatives

Hate parsley? Join the club. Here’s how to pivot:

• Swap parsley for mint or cilantro – Still fresh, just different vibes.
• No pear? Try apple or even cucumber for extra hydration. Just note: it’ll be less sweet.
• Add ginger – If you want some zing. Not mandatory, but nice.
• Want it creamier? Toss in a slice of avocado. Changes the texture but still works.

This one’s flexible. Kind of like you after you start drinking it regularly.

Calories

This one’s pretty chill on the calorie scale:

• Celery (2 stalks): ~12 cal
• Pear (1 medium): ~100 cal
• Parsley: ~4 cal
• Lemon juice: ~4 cal
• Water/ice: 0 (as always)

Total: ~120 calories

Light, clean, and you’ll still have room for that suspiciously large salad you swore you’d eat later.

FAQ

Can I taste the parsley?
Yeah… a little. It’s there, but the pear does a great job smoothing it out. You won’t feel like you’re chewing on a bouquet, promise.

Is this good for bloating?
Big yes. Celery and parsley help reduce water retention. So if you’re feeling puffy? This juice shows up like, “I got you.”

Can I use celery juice instead of whole celery?
Sure, but you’ll lose some fiber and body. The fresh stalks are better. Just sayin’.

Is this a meal replacement?
No. It’s a hydration helper and nutrient boost, not a full meal. Don’t make me come over there.

Final Thoughts

Celery Pear Parsley Juice is basically what would happen if a spa day and a farmer’s market had a baby. It’s light, refreshing, and gives your kidneys something to high-five about.

If you’ve been sleeping on parsley (and most of us have), this is your gentle nudge to give it a shot. Your insides will feel a little cleaner, and your skin might just join the party too.

Give it a go. Worst case? You accidentally start liking celery.